Tell your family
A BRCA mutation only helps the people in your family if they know it's there too. Telling them is the whole point, and it's the part most guys put off.
Most people who test positive do tell at least one relative.[1]Familial communication and cascade testing among relatives of BRCA population screening participants, Genetics in Medicine The part that breaks down is what happens next: relatives who hear about it from a man are less likely to actually get tested themselves than relatives who hear it from a woman, 36% versus 56%.[1]Familial communication and cascade testing among relatives of BRCA population screening participants, Genetics in Medicine Not because men care less. Mostly because the conversation never happens, or it happens once and never gets followed up.
Start with your closest relatives
Parents, siblings, and kids each have a 50% chance of carrying the same mutation, and they're also the relatives most likely to actually act on it once they know.[1]Familial communication and cascade testing among relatives of BRCA population screening participants, Genetics in Medicine Start there before you worry about cousins and aunts.
You don't have to explain the science
You just have to explain the fact: you tested positive for a BRCA mutation, it's genetic, and each of their kids has a 50% shot at having it too. A genetic counselor can handle the rest of the questions, that's their job, not yours.
Send it in writing, not just out loud
A conversation is easy to half-forget. A text or email they can reread, and actually hand to their own doctor, is what turns "yeah I should look into that" into an appointment. Use the message below if you want a starting point.
It's normal for this to stall out
Some relatives will get tested right away. Some won't for years. Some, like my own brother, might not ever. Bringing it up again later isn't nagging, it's just leaving the door open.
A message you can just send
"Hey, wanted to give you a heads up. I got tested and I carry a BRCA gene mutation, it raises the risk of a few kinds of cancer. It's genetic, so you or your kids could have it too, each kid has about a 50/50 shot. Doesn't mean anything's wrong, just means it's worth getting checked. A genetic counselor can walk you through it, happy to send you where I went if that helps."
Change the details, drop the parts that don't apply, make it sound like you. The only job it has to do is get them to ask their doctor about genetic counseling.
This page is general information, not medical advice.